But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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