Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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