if i can run in heels then i can drive
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
All I want is dick and wine.
Just puked most of my soul out..
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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