it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
