Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
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