Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
