I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
