why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
