He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
