I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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