I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
this boner is exhausting
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
