and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
