I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
3 2 1 whiskey
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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