I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
