There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
