i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
How's work?
Spinning.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Randomize
