i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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