Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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