oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
