the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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