butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
