Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
