I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
