Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
