I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
