Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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