that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
