Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
She tied me up with her honor cords...
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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