we have officially lost it.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
