Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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