Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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