His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I had to cum in my sink.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
