Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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