"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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