She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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