I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
