I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Dignity is for republicans.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
