just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
