Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
