How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
