after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
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