I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
