What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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