There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
