is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
