ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
