the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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