i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
