i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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