This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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